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Is your vision as bad as mine?

26 Oct

My friend, Sara Glaser, posted this story on her facebook page.  I figured she put it there because she wanted me to steal it and share it on this blog….you gotta read it.  Great job Sara.

 

 

My vision has been bad for awhile. I have had to wear glasses or contacts since I graduated high school. It has never really bothered me, until today when I realized just how bad my vision had become, despite my use of corrective lenses.

We took our little Grace to Childrens hospital for her check up today. I always have mixed feelings as we walk in. On one hand I despise the fact that we have to keep coming back, that stinging reminder that she is not completely healed yet. On the other hand I have this overwhelming sense of gratitude. I am thankful that I am able to hold her hand as she walks beside me into the office and that I am not the mother pushing my child in a wheelchair. Thankful that we are able to stop at the drinking fountain 100 times for sips of water because she is able to eat and drink and she is not that child sitting next to us with the constant drip of a feeding tube. I am thankful that her illness seems trivial in comparison to the majority of the children we pass on the elevator.
As we were waiting for her lab draw, she became preoccupied by a toddler crying in her stroller. She was very curious and was determined to tug me over to the child. I attempted to redirect her again and again, but she was persistent. She was not going to take no for an answer. My heart began to beat faster as we walked across the waiting room towards the child and her mother. I could tell that the girl had serious medical problems and her mother looked exhausted. The girl was thrashing in her stroller and her mother was trying everything to calm her. I looked down at my Grace with her big bow in her hair and a huge smile on her face. I prayed over and over that she would not cause a spectacle of the situation. As we approached them I asked the mother if she minded if we said hello. She invited us over and shared that her daughters name was Alena and that she was 15 months old. As I looked at her I saw a baby girl with notable physical deformities and multiple tubes connected to her that were obviously sustaining her life. I was overcome by grief for this sweet little girl and her family. My Grace peeked over the stroller and grabbed little Alena’s hand. She looked up at me and said “Look Mommy! She is pretty.” I watched as my Grace’s perfect little hand stroked Alena’s deformed hand. She looked back up at me and stated, “Jesus gave her nice hair.” I looked at Alena’s mother who had tears in her eyes. She looked down at Grace and thanked her for coming to say hello. As we turned to walk away, my little Grace ran back to her dad and continued playing. I watched her and Joe as my heart became lodged in my throat. I realized in that moment just how skewed and messed up my vision was. These corrective lenses that I thought were giving me perfect vision, were not helping at all. As I looked at little Alena, I saw tubes and the loom of death as my daughter saw beauty and life. I saw deformity and difference whereas my daughter was oblivious to difference but noticed nice hair.
As we drove home the many stories of Jesus healing the blind kept running through my head. In these scriptures Jesus had healed the physical blindness and given the ability of sight. I realized that I too was in need of that same healing. That despite the fact that I can read a book or drive a car, I too have been blind. I have seen, but not as HE sees. I want to be blinded to the differences that stood out to me today. I long for that child like, innocent vision. That ability to see beyond circumstance. I pray that Jesus removes the scales from my eyes so that all I notice is “nice” hair.

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1 Comment

Posted by on October 26, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

One response to “Is your vision as bad as mine?

  1. Rebecca

    December 2, 2011 at 3:35 am

    My son is a Shriner’s kid. I have had to see kids that have been burned so badly that they are scared badly. I would try to ignore what I was seeing and see the child behind their obvious injuries but at the same time my son is asking, what happened or why does he/she look like that, type of questions. As I tell him to just say hi and not worry about their stories, I am told by the mom, dad or even the child,”That is OK, I don’t mind or it is good for him to ask us.” They would tell him and he would say,”Can we go play, now?” It is like, I got my answer, now lets play! (smile) Seeing what I have seen and seeing the courage these kids have and the resilance they have is amazing! It also makes me greatful that God was looking out for my son because it could have been so much worse. It was like a horror movie we (or at least he, sister and I, can’t speak for Dad) went through and it was all put in perspective every time he and I entered the hospital and was reminded of how bad it could have been. PTL that it wasn’t any worse! It will be interesting to see as he is growing what his reaction will be the next time we go. Will he still not care and want to play or will he shy away because they look different? I can say what I think how he will react but I could be totally off too. It will be interesting to see though.

     

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